Since we learned the 5 love languages it’s been easier to make sure the other person feels loved in the way they need to be loved. In the language that they speak/understand! We aren’t all the same! BUT the catch is – you have to learn/choose to speak ANOTHER language. You can dooooo it!
The 5 Love Languages:
1. words of affirmation
2. acts of service
4. physical touch
5. quality time
So we determined the top 2 for each of us (after I read the book and gave him the cliff notes because he refused to read it – REAL TALK) and made lists of what we enjoyed most about that specific language. Then we taped the lists to the fridge so they are visible DAILY. Because out of sight out of mind for me.
Cody’s are “acts of service” and “gifts.” Making him food, washing his plate, buying him a Justin’s pb cup from the grocery store, getting him a towel when he’s in the shower. I’m discovering that “words of affirmation” is also up there. I completely disregarded that one until a recent discovery. “Great job” and acknowledgement of efforts and stuff like that. It definitely takes work.
️If you don’t know what your partners are – when they are upset what do they talk about that you don’t do enough of? So like if they say “you don’t do enough household chores” it might be “Acts of service.” Another way to know is to pay close attention to what they do the most for other people. Pay for things (gifts), hugs (physical touch), compliments (words of affirmation) – that’s more than likely theirs!
Mine are most definitely quality time and physical ‘non-sexual’ touch. Adventuring together, running errands together, back scratches, head pats, holding hands…
If you haven’t read the book “The 5 Love Languages” I highly suggest it! It doesn’t just apply to intimate relationships either – it applies to everyone! LOVE ALL THE PEOPLE.
Seriously so thankful personal development is a job requirement as a coach. I don’t know that I would have pursued books to improve my marriage and learn how to love my spouse better otherwise. I used to be really selfish. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned – you have to give love to receive love.
“Love is a choice you make every day” LOVE IS A VERB.